Tofu tuna patties and mashed..... What?

So my very good friend Professor P wants me to go on her primal / paleo type diet. Somehow, she bullied convinced me into trying it for just 30 days. It's only a month! Well, it's been 4 days and dammit, I want a Cup O'Noodle! Don't judge.

Anyways (I'm paraphrasing here), the whole point is to avoid grains, sugar and processed foods (including soy). Therefore, you have to cook your own food. Wut? o.O Not that I mind it, I really get bored of leftovers, like more than once, and I'm bored. I'm taking a lot of liberties and I think Prof P is letting me slide and ease into it for the first month by letting me have my soy and my cheese. CHEESE!

So, last night, I made some comfort food, tofu tuna patties. I mostly followed the recipe I found here:
But I eliminated the sugar and the ginger. I remember when we made this at home, we would dry the tofu by squeezing it in a dish towel, but I went the compression way with a heavy bottle of water. The tofu definitely needs to be dry to make this hold together; I really should have gone with the dish towel method but I didn't want tofu bits stuck in the towel loops. This came out a bit sweeter than I remember, but maybe it was the oyster sauce. I don't know if we put any seasonings in these, but we did eat them with shoyu (soy sauce). Something to ask mommy.

But here are the patties!

Normally, I'd nom these with rice, but no rice! GAAAAAAAH what will I do? I found recipes online for cauliflower rice, but I was honestly too lazy to put the food processor together so I went with mashed cauliflower instead. Let me preface this by saying I am not a fan of cauliflower just because it smells funky. You know what I mean. I've cooked it before (bf from Holland loved it so I pulled it off one day).

There are a ton of variations between recipes, so this is what I did:

1 head cauliflower, washed, drained and cut into florets (the bigger ones I cut into quarters and I also peeled the tough outer skin off most of it)

Put florets into 8"x8" glass baking dish (the one for brownies), cover tightly with cling film and microwave for 10 minutes. No water, no salt. Kind of watch it towards the end so the cauliflower doesn't burn and be careful when removing the cling film for the steam. Poke one of the larger pieces with a fork, it should be soft enough where the fork slips in (called "fork tender").

Throw some butter, salt, pepper, garlic powder on and whizz that cauliflower with a stick blender! I recommend moving the cauliflower from the baking dish to a bowl so you can blend it properly instead of making a mess all over like I did. :) Hehehehehe

I didn't add anything like milk, cream cheese or sour cream. Just that damn cauliflower! How does it taste? pretty damn good! Nothing like cauliflower and it doesn't smell like feet. Wut? It's a bit sweeter than mashed potatoes, but it has a nice texture once it's been blended and it's creamy. I can imagine how good this would be as a baked potato substitute with sour cream, cheddar cheese, green onions and bacon bits! Hmmmmm :)

So yup, 26 more days to go......................


  1. Am loving that you refer to the 8x8" baking dish as "the one for brownies". Perfection!


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